I’m taking a break from the norm today. I’ve heard there’s power in vulnerability and so I’m taking a leap of faith and telling my story. I hope you’ll read it with an open mind and if it helps one person that would make me so happy.
In a world saturated with blogs and Pinterest, it’s so easy to fall in love with “perfect” images and ideas. I love pretty things as much as anyone. There’s nothing I love more than a beautiful Pinterest page. Sometimes I think it’s easy to get caught up in wanting our lives to reflect those idealistic photos in our feeds. But as I’ve grown older and have experienced more life, I have learned that nobody’s life is perfect. Every single person has struggles. Life is hard. Life can be ugly. I’ve spent the last 8 years sharing the happy, beautiful, fun side of my life on my blog.
Today I want to get real and show you a little more of my not so picture perfect side. As scary as this is for me, I hope my story will help someone else or at least let you know that life isn’t perfect no matter how it may seem online.
The entire story can be read by clicking the link to my sister’s Quite Honestly Project.
Thank you for reading my blog.
xoxo
For those that were looking:
http://www.wendyvonsosen.com/quite-honestly/
I cannot get the link to open the story. could you please email me the text?
[email protected] thanks
I can’t get the link to open on your sister’s blog. Why didn’t you post your story here?
I can’t open the link to your sister’s blog. Why didn’t you post your story here?
I wish I would have been able to read this story. From the comments it sounds like an inspirational one
I have never loved you or your blog posts more!!
May God bless you and your family richly and lead you to where you are meant to be!
Thanks Brie!!
xox
Thank you for sharing your story. I also married/divorced young and was left to take care of my two daughters by myself. Still up to this day I’m still also suffering from depression. Just recently started renovating my own home so this story hit really close to my heart. Love and hugs! Glenys
Sending you a big hug Glenys. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have fun renovating your home! Let me know if I can help in any way!!
xoxoxo
Oh Jen, your story breaks my heart! I first met you years ago at the first Creative Estates event in AZ and again at the first two SNAP conferences. You’ve been one of my fave bloggers all these years. You have so much class and you’re truly a sweet person. I feel like a bit of a jerk right now. You know, like I’ve been really judgy thinking your life was perfect. When will I learn? We all have struggles. I love you for the perfection of your blog, but girl, I love you even more for opening up and sharing that you’re human! That seals the deal that you’ll be one of my all-time faves. So anyway, I’ve been there too, sweetie. Faking it at church and making everyone believe we were the perfect family, then crying myself to sleep so many nights. Finally after 17 years of marriage I chose divorce too. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, but I never doubted it was the right choice. Heavenly Father was there guiding me and helping me figure it out. I relied on him pretty heavily during that time. Now here I am 12 years later and the pain and agony of that marriage is all gone. I just feel sorry for my ex and I see how his own demons have severely crippled him. Someday you’ll get there too. I’m happily remarried (9 years) and just glad I’m here and not living in the past. I wish you all the best with dating! Take your time and let a few guys treat you like the queen that you are. Getting back into dating in my forties was great for my self-esteem cuz I had been feeling pretty worthless. Don’t let your ex’s bad decisions make you feel less than. You are an amazing strong beautiful woman!! So I had to sell my house too & move away from the neighborhood I wanted to live in forever. That was SO hard! But you know what? Heavenly Father guided me to right where my kids & I needed to be. He’ll do the same for you. Great things to look forward to, Jen! Thanks again for sharing this! You’re an inspiration with your honesty! Lots of love!
Oh Cindy –
Thank you so much for commenting. I am so happy that you are doing so well and are remarried and happy. That gives me hope. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It really means so much to me!
xoxo
Oh Jen,
I cried as I read your story as I am going thru a similar situation right now……married 17 years now and have severe depression and trying to decide about divorce or not. I won’t go into the details of the reasons why divorce is being considered however I will say that I, as you, have just gone along with everything and not said anything therefore everything was ok…..if I did what he wanted. I’ve begun counseling and am trying to get “my voice” back and stand up for myself and voice my opinions and he doesn’t like it. 17 years of this has completely worn me down emotionally and physically. I can’t think straight, don’t know what even makes me happy anymore, I feel like I’m unlovable and nothing I do or say is valued. It’s like you are in a deep dark hole looking up and you can see the sunlight but can’t get to it. I’ve prayed so much for God to lead me to the path he wants me to follow and give me the strength and courage to follow it as well as hope and peace.
I will send prayers your way. You are a strong woman to write your letter but as you can see there are many many of us in the same situation as you. We all need to lift each other up in God’s love and listen to what He wants us to do. I wish you all the best! You are an amazing woman!
God bless you!
Jen I just want to give you a big hug! I am so sorry for the pain but I do believe that if we don’t have that we don’t appreciate when times are good. Good for you for being brave enough to share. We all know friends and family who have been through this. You are doing great and will come out shining- like gold tested in fire… Hugs my friend…
Thank you Eileen! You are a great friend. I appreciate you!
xoxo
What a brave thing you have done here! It’s not easy being transparent to the world. Yet, I believe that God calls us to just do that so that we can give encouragement to others. Never, ever be afraid to shine His light on this earth. Healing begins when we stop hiding.
You story is a very similar to my own. I stayed in a marriage that I tried to make work. It was very easy to keep up the pretenses & hope that things would change. Having said that, in reading your post I didn’t see that you were making it out to be one sided. We all make mistakes. We all have regrets.
God’s grace can & does take us farther than we ever imagined. I am praying right now that He will lead & guide your steps. That He will continue to bring forth healing to you & your children.
Sending you a HUGE hug as you start on this new chapter in your life.
Thank you Krista –
I am learning and growing as a person every day. There are so many things that I regret but I feel good being able to share what has been happening in my life and being able to move forward. I hope things are going great for you. Thank you for sharing a little of your story with me!
xoxo
Jen, I started reading your blog in the days before pinterest, when the blogging community was still tight knit . You were a DIY superstar in my eyes and had such a positive attitude where your voice and smile were contagious (even though I had never met or heard you!). I reached out to you back in 2011 prior to the Blogher Conference in San Diego and was so impressed with your responsiveness (I bloged about it here) and was so excited to meet you! http://adaywithlilmama.blogspot.com/2011/09/blogher-conference-newbie-tips.html
I did wonder how come your husband was never talked about or photographed with your children and this explains it (not that you owe anyone an explanation!). To think that you have succeeded with your own line and as a pioneer in this over saturated DIY blogger industry is amazing. I wish you the best as you rebuild the foundation for your future for yourself and your kids.
Thank you Mindy –
I hope things are great with you! Thank you for commenting and being so sweet. I appreciate it so much.
xoxo
Dear Jen, Thank you for your open letter. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time now and have enjoyed so much about what you do. I’ve also read some of the other stories on your sister ‘s page and what I really appreciate is the real reality that you and the others are demonstrating. So much of what we have become used to is false or built up on pretenses. Suffering from depression is something I can relate to and feel grateful when someone speaks out about it. I admire also how you have not spilt all as it is so easy to do when people point fingers at us and say things may not be what they seem. Keep your head up! Blessings and Friendship, Jaimie ????
Thank you. I appreciate you commenting Jaimie. Depression is insidious and it creeps inside and kind of takes over. I didn’t even really realize how bad it was until I almost couldn’t escape. And when you’re going through it you can’t reach out to people. So its so isolating. I really hope that by talking about it we can help each other and reach out to people who might need help.
I hope you are doing well. Blessings and friendship to you too.
xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing yourself and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your readers. Its hard to do that just in normal life but on the large scale of the internet must have felt scary but at the same time liberating?! I shared about my struggle with postpartum depression on my tiny little blog and it really felt so good to just get it out there. Sending love to you and I hope that this new chapter becomes your best adventure yet!
Thank you Nicole!
Yes it was so scary sharing all of that information. I really felt like there is a need to talk about depression and uncomfortable subjects – there are so many people suffering for years in silence. I hope you are doing well. Thank you for your comment – it means a lot to me.
xoxo
It is interesting to see your side of the story. Right after you and your ex purchased the cottage I saw your ex and your father-in-law working on your house every Saturday. Every day that I walked by they were so very pleasant and always sincere about saying hello and how are you doing. They were so nice and both of them proud of you and what you had done. But it never failed how genuine they were towards me. You on the other hand, have never said a word to me and I have walked passed you at your home, have been in your home the same time as you…and nothing. My impression from the outside is you praise your projects and status more than you did your husband, kids, or your God. You only mentioned that you were doing the things you needed to do like attending church and to you kids. Did you really give your life to God? Perhaps things might have turned out different. You can’t blame it all on him (which is the impression you left with me). I really do hope the best for you and hope you can find what really matters in life besides just a blog. I can tell you I don’t attend church regularly but when I have a family I have one woman I really look up to and she gives everything to God. NieNieDialogues..That is my daily read and inspiration for a true mother and wife. Best of luck to you in your new neighborhood and I really really do wish the very best for you.
Hi. Thank you for your comment. I wish I could talk to you in real life. I am sorry if I gave that impression. My ex father in law was so so helpful and wonderful. My ex husband helped too of course. I am a shy person and having a hard time during much of that time. I am so sorry if I made you feel bad. I have learned a lot going through this and I am still learning. One of the things I regret is that I hid in my house because I was upset about the divorce and I was afraid to talk to people. I see now that I should have dealt with things head on. Probably from the beginning of our troubles.
Thank you for telling me how you feel and I really really want to apologize and thank you for taking the time to write. I hope that if we ever see each other we can talk and you might give me another chance. I am not perfect by any means, and I really am trying to be a better person and to learn and grow. I really love that neighborhood. It is filled with amazing people!
xoxo
Thank you. The words of the hymn How Firm a Foundation made me think of you today “that soul though all hell should endeavor to shake, I’ll never, no never, no never forsake” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0Xvr8maR34
Thanks Stephanie. Thanks for thinking of me.
xoxo
Thank you for sharing. As I get older I realize how difficult life can be and we never know what really goes on in the lives of others and what heartaches they face. This was so brave of you to share and I wish you all the best for a happy future for you and your children!
Thank you Susan. That means a lot to me.
xox
I love you Jen!!! You will always be one of my heroes!!
I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you & your amazing kids!
xoxo
Kellie
Thanks Kellie! I love you 🙂
xoxo
Like so many of the other commenters, your blog was my first blog. I remember reaching out to you and offering travel tips when you visited Boston and how excited I was when you responded. Like hearing from a movie star:). I have many DIY’s in my home that I read about on your blog (numbered throw pillows to name one.) I also wondered about the change in your living situation. Thank you for being honest about the not so perfect life behind the blog. You still amaze me with your talent and I wish you the very best in your new chapter of life.
Thank you Robin! I remember that Boston trip and your tips! Thanks for being so nice!
xoxo
Sometimes the new dream is even better than what you had previously envisioned for yourself. Life is a journey and I’m thankful that you are choosing the path to happiness. Let me know if you need anything along the way! I appreciate your honesty and authenticity and will keep you in my prayers, Jen!
“What I love most about my home is who I share it with.” – Tad Carpenter
Thanks Julie! And thanks for always being so helpful and nice. I appreciate you!
xox
Jen – I am so in awe of your bravery, strength, and honesty. Sharing such a personal story – especially one that is so challenging – is something not many people can do. Your honesty is a much-needed reminder that pretty pictures are only a snapshot of what is currently going on, and you never know what is happening outside of that perfectly staged shot. I’m not going to say I’m sorry, because I fully believe that you are never handed more than you can take, and it seems like your struggles have brought you so much growth. Instead, what I will say is thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Opening up like this clearly has helped so many people, including myself, and I’ll be forever grateful to you for you putting these words down and helping me remember that there is always hope.
Hi Sarah. Thank you. I was very afraid to share these experiences and struggles. The outpouring of love and support has been amazing therapy and made me realize that everyone struggles and talking about our problems and sharing them lightens the burden so much.
xooxo
I’m relativly new to your blog and wow, all I can say is what a brave women you are … Brave for being so honest, brave for moving from a home you love so much and brave for doing what needs to be done. Good luck in the future, and hope we read about your new adventure. I look forward to it x
Thanks so much Caroline! And thanks for reading my blog!!
xoxo
Oh Jen, I’m so sorry for all you’ve trudged through but am so happy to see you’re making new plans to rid yourself of all the yuck! Even if it means selling your sweet cottage. Truly, you can hear the lightness in your post…..I’m so very happy for you!!! So excited to see what new adventures drop in your lap…you deserve every last one!
Sending lots of love your way,
Ashley
Thanks my friend!! I think this is going to be a wonderful chapter. I feel really good about it. Thanks for being a great friend!
xxo
Your story hits very close to home. I have been reading your blog for years and years & so sorry to read that you’ve had to endure these hardships. I am currently trying to figure out “what’s next” while trying to maintain normalcy for my children. I don’t know how to put into words what your post made me feel. As if it’s God’s way of saying “See? You’ll be ok”.
Again, thank you for sharing ♡
Oh Becky –
I am so sorry you are going through that. I am sending you love and prayers. You can get through this. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends and family for help. And get counseling too if you feel you need it.
Big hugs.
xoxo
Jen, so glad I got to spend some time with you in Texas this year. You are truly an inspiration to so many women. I wish you nothing but the best in your bright future. Hope our paths cross again soon!
Thank you Jenny!
I loved getting to know you on our Texas trip. You are just the cutest person and beautiful on the inside and out!
xoxo
Honesty is so freeing. You are your home, and your magic goes with you! Sending you love and hope and dreams.
Thank you Kristen!!
Yes I feel light a load has been lifted off my shoulders by being able to share this heartache. Thank you for the good wishes!!
xoxo
Sending love and prayers to you and your kids. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Thank you Katie!
xox
Thank you for sharing your story! I’ve followed you since your first appearance on Studio 5 and am a bit of a fangirl! You inspire me!
Wow thank you Julie!! You made my day. Thank you for reading my blog and for taking the time to leave me a comment. You are so sweet!
xoxo
Love ya Jen!
I love you Lorie!!! You are one of my all time favorite people.
xoxo
Jen, it takes a very strong person to share a story like this! And I’m so glad you did. I agree so much in that people think we as bloggers lead these perfect lives by what we post, but we face every day trials and struggles too. I think you are definitely making the right choice by selling the cottage. You deserve to be happy and by starting over and not living so close to them is the right start! I wish you all the best! ????
Thank you Holly! Yes I think I did make the right choice in moving. I feel so much happier away from those memories. Thank you for stopping by!!
xoxo
Thank you all for sharing. The internet can be a wild mix of horrifying facts, unbelievable fairy tales, smiley faces on every story, and everything in between. Plain, simple truth is refreshing even when it’s not necessarily happy. It lets us all know we’re in this together and it’s not perfect for anyone.
It’s so true! I was really nervous telling my story and the not so happy side of my life but I feel a huge relief in sharing what I have been going through and a sense of closure that now I can move forward by putting the truth out there. I love the idea of us coming together. I think there are so many people suffering in silence out there, afraid to share what is really going on in their lives.
xoxo
I read your story earlier today and was so moved by it. Thank you for being so brave to post it–…I have no doubt that many women will read it and completely relate to it. I know I did. I did not buy and renovate a wonderful cottage, but I did have a similar experience with my marriage and after giving it more time, more prayer, and some counseling, I had to move on. I had to move on, keep my children safe and stable, and do what was best for me. It was TOUGH. I had a lot of support and leaned on many (wonderful!) people and God. I recently celebrated ten years of being divorced. My life has completely changed for the better. I am so happy and find satisfaction in so many ways that I was unable to when I was trapped in that marriage. Life is good! You, sweet lady, are on your way!!! Better things are on the horizon for you. Keep at it!! You and your children are worth carrying on!! Hugs to you!!!
Thank you Michelle! Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I am so glad that things are better for you. Big hugs!!
xoxox
Thank you for sharing…wishing you all the best as you move in a new direction.
Thank you so much Kerry!!
xxxo
And there is the rub….it doesn’t always go as planned, does it? Very powerful piece, thank you for sharing. Glad to see you that are on the upswing – keep breathing and keep the faith.
Thank you Julie! I think I’ve discovered that you can have a beautiful life even when things aren’t the way you imagined. Thanks for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to me.
xoxo
Powerful…..thank you Jen for being so brave in your struggle and then for now sharing this with the blogging community. You are strong, I am happy that you are finding your way through this. You are an inspiration and we are so proud of you. Thank you for all that you’ve done in your corner of the blogosphere!!
~Be Sweet
Christina at
SWEETHAUTE
Thank you Christina. Thank you for your sweet words. It means a lot to me.
xoxo
OMG I just bawled my eyes out for you. I recently noticed you were living in the 1905 cottage and was a bit curious when/how that happened. I am so glad that you are doing better and things are moving up for you. Are you staying in Utah? I recently moved to Spanish Fork and everytime I go near provo (Thats where it is right?) I try to find the cottage. THANK YOU for sharing your story. I hope you feel empowered by doing so. You know there are so many women who needed to hear this from you today. I 100% believe that because you shared this you have saved womens lives! We as women need to talk about this stuff more. To let our sisters know they are NOT the only one dealing with this.While it is sad you will need to leave 1905cottage, We have to close chapters in our lives to open new ones. I wish you the best!!!!
Thanks Jaime!
The cottage was by the mouth of little cottonwood canyon. Thanks for the nice comment. I agree, I think it would be wonderful for people to share these dark secrets and not feel the need to try to be perfect. I was really scared to share all of this information but the supportive feedback has been so wonderful and really uplifted me. Thank you!!!
xoxoxo
Thank you for sharing your story. I admire you! I have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life. I think by telling your experience you have already helped many. I wish we would all stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Few things are. You amaze me with your talent and all that you have accomplished. I love your blog even more now!
Thanks Terrie!! I am sorry to hear about your anxiety and depression. I hope things are good with you. Thank you for reading my blog!
xoxxo
I’m so sorry to read all this, but I high-five you in your bravery to publish it. You are a beautiful person inside and out, and I wish nothing but the best for you!
Thanks for the high five! And thank you for reading my post and commenting. It means a lot to me.
xoxo
This was insanely brave and hard to read your struggles. I am so happy for you that you are moving forward, I don’t think I would have the strength if I was in that situation. You are one powerful woman and you should enjoy every second of your new journey. Many blessings!
Thanks Christine!
I didn’t have the strength for awhile there. I think we all find that we are stronger than we think we are when we have to be. I have found that I am more happy alone than I was with someone who didn’t really love me or respect me. Thank you for commenting. It means a lot to me!
xoxo
I’m so, so sorry and so grateful for your vulnerablity.
Thank you Becky!!
xoxox
Princess, keep your chin up or your crown may slip. I am so proud of you for your openness and honesty. Ask for help when needed as we have all been there in varying degrees. Keep calm and carry on…..and get a voodoo doll. 😉
Hi Brandi!! I have learned that I have more people that love me and are there for me than I thought. It’s hard to ask for help but there are people out there that we can count on. Thanks for commenting and caring.
xoxo
Sorry to hear how hard it’s been, glad to hear you’re moving on. Sending lots of love and prayers for the next stage of the journey. Thanks for sharing your story. You were the first blog I ever read, and still read. You’ve inspired me many times over the years, and this story of strength is no exception.
Oh thank you!! Thanks for reading my blog for so long. That makes me happy!
xoxo
I, too, have struggled with depression and have found doctors, meds and ways to cope. I think our society’s emphasis on appearances (self and home) have been SO harmful to women especially.I am a long time reader of your blog and appaud your decision to share your story here- I think you will find you are stronger than you ever dreamed and that there is a lot of support for you out here on the Web
Hi Marty –
I agree. I think it would be wonderful if people talked about the things that aren’t perfect too. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
xoxo
Thanks for sharing your story, I know it was a difficult thing to do. I am so sorry that you’ve had to endure all this. Please let me know if I can ever help!
Debbie
Thanks my friend!! That means a lot to me!
xoxo
Thank you for your bravery. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Oh thank you!!
xoxo
I’ve been following your blog for a very long time now and noticed when your (ex)husband no longer was made mentioned in your posts. I kept wondering. Thank you so much for this post. While my heart aches at your pain, it has also humanized you. You are going through something horrible and coming through it. What an inspiration!
Thank you Lyndee —
It took a while to be able to share all of that painful information. But I am in a really good place now and I really felt the need to share why I moved. I hope maybe it will help other women going through similar heartaches. I hope so . I think we all need to support and uplift each other.
xoxo
Go forward and find a new house that will become more yours than anything that came before! Thanks for sharing the hard stuff…it’s really important and you will never know how much it helps others who are fighting to put on that perfect face for the world. I’m so glad your creativity has resurfaced!
Yes!! Going through this it really made me realize that a house is just a house unless it’s filled with the people you love. While I loved the cottage, being with my kids is the most important thing and it doesn’t matter where we live if we have each other. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I really appreciate it so much!
xoxo
I had tears for you reading your story. Such a brave thing to share. I’ve read your blog for a long time- maybe even close to when you started and you’re right that when we read these blogs or look at Instagram we don’t really know what their life is like. I really appreciate it when people take the time to show what’s real. So sorry for all that you are struggling with!
Thanks for reading my blog for so long Suzanne!! That means so much to me. Yes. I love seeing all of those beautiful images but I also love when people share their messy houses or craft fails. I think it is important to be real and I hope that people can relate to the messier moments too. I think those struggles make the beautiful moments that more precious.
xoxo
You are brave and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you Erika!!
xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry for all you have been going through. You are such a strong woman to be doing all the things you are doing and for sharing your story with us. You are helping so many people including me. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless.
Thank you so much Kim. That means so much to me!
xoxo
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your story. What an inspiration you are! You are a great example of strength and endurance and choosing the right! I’m sure your story will help many people as it has already inspired me to keep moving forward through the difficult moments.
Thanks Kayla –
I really feel like a normal person stumbling through life. I hope that maybe my story might help someone else in some way. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate it so much!
xoxo
You are so strong to share this story, and I think it will help so many more people than you’ll ever know. It’s so important to be reminded that there is a real life and real people behind a beautiful blog and home. Good for you for being honest and doing what you need to do to be whole again. You will get through this! And you’ll find a new dream that will be even better.
Thanks Danielle!!
I really think I will. I feel so good about this new chapter. And having people be so kind and nice in their response to my story really meant a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time to comment and for reading my blog.
xoxo
Oh Jen, deep in my heart I had a feeling something was going on outside of the blog. I’m saddened to hear of these struggles in your life & that it has brought you to sell your cottage. I know you have poured so much into it & you have done such an amazing job with it. I know that the fresh start you speak of can be very healing for the soul. When I divorced my first husband at the age of 20, I found that removing myself from all those triggers was a healthy thing for healing & personal growth. I’m here for you, my friend- anything you need, just let me know! If you ever want to get a little farther away- Coeur d’Alene is a great place. Love to have you here! Love & hugs!
Gina – you are a wonderful person. I have been able to tell whenever you have left a comment that you really care. Thank you for caring and for being a friend to me. I just adore you. Truly.
xoxo
Oh, honey, I’m so sorry to hear this… When you love someone and give everything you have to this person, it’s hard to let go, even if you know that letting go is the right thing to do – for you and your kids… Glad you did it! You’ll be fine! 🙂
Thanks Samantha!
I really think I will now. I wasn’t sure there for awhile. Thanks for the encouraging words!!
xoxo